This post has almost nothing to do with WoW. I want to tell this story anyway.
I am horribly arachnophobic. Like, pathologically arachnophobic. The first time I zoned into Ahn’kahet: The Old Kingdom I almost jumped out of my chair. It actually took a bit of self-control to make it through the dungeon that first time, though I’ve built up a tolerance to WoW spider mobs over time. My Hunter even has a couple of spider pets, though I don’t use them very often. It helps that most spider mobs don’t look much like real spiders, though there are still some models that creep me right out.
Our bed is right next to our bedroom window, and I sleep closest to said window. Usually our blinds are closed, but sometimes I open them because our cat likes to stare out at the birds. We have issues with bugs getting into our window because it’s not well sealed at the top. A few weeks ago I opened the blinds for the cat and noticed that a large, terrifying spider had taken up residence outside our window. Unfortunately there was no way to kill said spider because it was outside. Well, my husband might have been able to wash it away with a hose or something, but he didn’t take the spider threat seriously.
“What if the spider is female? What if she has hundreds of terrifying spider babies?!”
“She won’t have babies,” my husband said in a patronizing tone.
I closed the blinds and tried to ignore the fact that I was sleeping right next to a giant fucking spider, separated from me by a thin pane of glass, with a gap at the top through which it could enter at any moment to kill me in my sleep. Thankfully, the spider seemed happy right where it was, and since it was eating the bugs that would ordinarily have invaded our bedroom I felt like we had reached some sort of truce, or arrangement, or something.
This morning there were birds chirping outside the window so I opened the blinds for the cat.
The spider is female and she had hundreds of tiny babies.
I may have freaked out. Just a little.
There is no fucking way that Anub’remom and her spiderlings can stay. But getting rid of them isn’t exactly easy. My husband actually tried to spray Raid at them from outside the house, but since our bedroom is on the second floor that didn’t work so well. So he sprayed Raid at them through the gap at the top of the window. We had a river of liquid death streaming down the window and it seems to have caught most of them.
Most of them.
However, pretty much every time I go into our bedroom for something I find a little, tiny spiderling descending from the window, or the ceiling, or the lamp, or something. My screams alert my husband who dutifully tanks the little bastards to death for me. But it’s like living in Beth’tilac’s lair. How am I ever going to sleep tonight?