Mog Madness Round 4 Entry
To my great surprise I managed to come in 6th in Round 3. This means I’m one of the 10 people who moved on. Yay!
Unfortunately, this round’s required item is either the Green or Purple Trophy Tabard of the Illidari; both of which are very ugly, in my opinion. Last round I said that I was trying to design outfits that I would dress my characters in. So, what to do when forced to work with an item that I wouldn’t ever choose for any of my characters?
The solution: Create a character that would wear something ugly.
I was discussing Round 4 with Minstrel and showed him the tabard we were required to use. Minstrel said, “Oh, the breast enhancing tabard?” Like magic Frank popped into my head and said, “Breast enhancing, you say? So, do you expect lots of Draenei and pretty Blood Elves entering this round? Enter me instead. I dare you.” And then he gave that frightening Undead male laugh.
This is Frank. Frank has a very… strong personality. He popped into my head pretty much fully formed, with his own motivations and preferences. You know how authors sometimes talk about their characters taking on a life of their own in a terrifying sort of way? Yeah, like that.
Frank is an ordinary guy. Or at least, he’d have you think so. A simple farmer before the plague of undeath took him, he continues to raise crops for Sylvanas and the Undercity. Where once he tended orderly rows of cabbage and carrots he now raises several varieties of diseased mushroom. He also keeps a small pack of felhounds to guard his fields. You see, Frank is also a warlock, though you might not know it to look at him.
It would amuse him if you were to underestimate him.
Frank has a dark sense of humor, enjoying sarcasm and irony in particular. Entering his decaying corpse in what is essentially a beauty contest tickles his fancy to no end. He doesn’t care if he wins or loses — but he will enjoy the side-long glances and obvious discomfiture of the judges and other contestants.
It was difficult to wrestle Frank into a decent outfit. He was constantly telling me to use items like Don Carlos’ Famous Hat, or perhaps a lumberjack shirt. (I mollified him by allowing him to wear the latter in his intro picture.) He flat out refused to wear purple pants.
“You wouldn’t catch me dead in those,” Frank said.
“But, um… You are dead, so anything you wear is something that– AHHHH!” The look he gave me was so terrifying I ran around helplessly for about 8 seconds. “OK! OK! No purple pants, I swear!”
He also wanted to wear real boots. Not slippers, boots. Sensible boots for mucking about in fields or the blood of your enemies. Also, he really likes the color brown.
The following outfit is Frank’s fault, I swear.
Round 4 Entry — Cloth Armor
- Tabard: Green Trophy Tabard of the Illidari. Somehow the green one just worked better for Frank than the purple version.
- Head: Shadowbrim Travel Hat. This is a quest reward from “Disrupt their Reinforcements” in Hellfire Peninsula (either faction). Good for keeping the sun off your delicate undead skin while tending your fields, or for looking dapper while sucking the life from your foes.
- Shoulders: Slavehandler Amice. A random green-quality BoE that drops from Outland mobs. Do warlocks have slaves? Oh yes, they sure do.
- Back: Syrannis’ Mystic Sheen. As the name implies, this drops from Commander Syrannis in The Botanica.
- Shirt: Green Linen Shirt. Easily crafted by any low level tailor, this shirt is an integral part of the look.
- Chest: The important thing about the chest is that it be hidden under the tabard, allowing the shirt and tabard to provide the look instead. I chose the first one to fit this criteria that I came across, the Soulcloth Vest. The tailoring pattern drops in Karazhan, but there are several other pieces you could use instead and which might be easier to obtain. (And yes, under his tabard Frank is wearing a very pretty chest-piece. It amuses him.)
- Hands: Greenweave Gloves. Random green-quality BoEs that drop from level 15-26 mobs. Not too bulky — good for gardening and the pruning of souls.
- Waist: High Councillor’s Sash. Another random green-quality BoE from Outland mobs. Adds just the right splash of color.
- Legs: Councillor’s Pants. Interestingly enough, these pants are a re-color of the set the waist is from. The pants from the other set are purple though, and we’ve already covered how Frank refused to wear them. These are a random green-quality BoE that drops from level 55-58 mobs.
- Feet: Willow Boots. More random green-quality BoEs. These ones primarily drop from level 9-16 mobs, but WoWhead says they also drop from heroic Deadmines. Not sure how much I’d trust WoWhead on that. As you can see, these are indeed practical boots. Frank approved!
- Staff: Elemental Mage Staff. It might be tough to get your hands on one of these because it’s a random BoE epic world drop. However, it’s great for stomping after trespassers who are attempting to steal your mushrooms and teaching them that stealing is very, very bad for your immortal soul. Seriously, don’t try to steal the mushrooms!
- Wand: Torch of Austen. Since wands will be main weapons in Mists of Pandaria I thought I’d also include one here. This is a blue-quality BoE that drops from level 40-60 mobs. It has a similar “coming after the trespassers” feel for me, or perhaps a feel of descending into dark places in pursuit of demonic power.
Frank is the Judges’ Problem Now
So, Frank is taking his turn on the catwalk. Somehow I don’t picture him doing so with much grace. I’d also count the other contestants afterward just to make sure they’re all present and accounted for. I mean, Frank knows that five will be eliminated — better make sure he doesn’t eliminate them for you.
Oh, God! He just muttered something about needing fertilizer for his mushrooms. Watch your backs, I beg you!